hope

The thing that is the farthest away from me is hope. It’s farther away than the ocean line, the sun, the moon and the stars. This world is too small for me. And yet, I am but a tiny speck of dust in this huge and infinite universe. I feel like my soul could escape my body effortlessly and wander everywhere. My soul has no form. It’s neither big nor small. It just is. It can expand to the edge of the universe, but still be one soul. My soul yearns to feel free. To just be. There is no limit, no boundaries to what I see when I close my eyes. In my dreams, I can see a place where hope lies. It’s far beyond the horizon, so far away that nothing but hope exists there, yet all that exists can be found. Because hope is a new beginning.

A place where no one but Allah knows how sad and broken I am. But it’s okay because my One and Only Creator loves me more than anyone else could ever try to.

It’s okay.

It’s okay.

It’s okay to feel this way.

What else matters more than the Greatest and most powerful Love?

If Allah wills it, even my shadow finds a way to reassure me. Like a sign. A message. Do not despair, I’m always here. With you. The sun shining on you, the warmth on your skin, that dark shadow on the ground… All of this exists because Allah created it. As He created me. And He loves me. I have eyes that can see, ears that can hear, I can smell and taste. What else would I need to know that Allah is the King of all that exists? I am merely submitting to my Creator’s will.

His creation. I do it out of love for creating me.

I will embrace myself and contemplate on the meaning of my existence as long as I breathe, over and over again, in an never ending time-loop that exists only for those who truly look at themselves for who they are, who they were and who they will become. I am ever so grateful to Allah for creating me, giving me all the clues I needed. It feels like my soul is transcending conceptual reality and travels freely as a bird, giving me a glimpse of real freedom in the Hereafter. One that even as awake as I try to be, cannot even fathom. So there, in that place, I will lie down the mountains I used to carry and from the summit I will watch the pain and misery which I left behind. The stars will keep me company and the quietness and stillness will be my lullaby.

There are multitudes of universes inside each one of us. So much to explore. So much to discover. But that space between nothingness and hope lies within the hearts of those who dare to dream and get lost in search. That is why only the courageous wanderer can find it. So don’t be afraid, it is only but a journey.