Finding a balance between them all is undoubtedly stress-inducing and even more so when we allow time to pass by without actually processing our experiences and relationships with others, inevitably transforming these ‘matters’ into pressures. Within a blink of an eye, we’ve embarked onto a new cycle: started a new year, lost old friends, perhaps family, or even a new job. 

Through having not broken out of old cycles, we create new ones, more toxic than older ones, and it is in this disregard that we unknowingly manage to lug unwanted baggage into our future. We blindly bear our insecurities, despair, and negative energies from previous cycles into a fresh new chapter; tainting the white pages before we’ve given ourselves a rightful chance to start anew. 

Life, as we know it, is not full of sunshine and rainbows, I mean, how can we possibly earn our places in the hereafter if it were? There’s nothing to celebrate if everything comes easily. But even still, we must remember that where there’s rain, there’s a rainbow; where there’s thorns, there’re roses; where there’s life, there’re lessons; and where there’s hardships, there’s ease. For us, self-reflection provides the chance to untangle ourselves from the thorns, seize the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow and use the power of hindsight to comprehend the greater why. In other words, reflection enables us to break out of old cycles properly and remove ourselves from manifesting any sort of toxicity. Intrinsically, every cycle deals with an emotional side and staying out of tune with it until we are forced to address it is like opening a can of worms worsened at a time when you’re the least prepared to deal with it.

I’m not promising self-reflection will always be like taking a leisurely stroll in the park on a warm summer’s afternoon. We’ve all had experiences we want to shove as far away into the back of our conscience as humanly possible. Ones we’d do anything to forget, like the time I mistook a stranger for my brother and grabbed the chocolate bar from his hand (in my defence, it was a dark night) or the time my sister ran head-first into a glass door, believing it to be open (at least we were on holiday in a faraway country). Yet even in those experiences, there’s plenty to learn. Perhaps of patience and not jumping to conclusions, of responding instead of reacting, or maybe of just making sure we don’t miss our Specsavers’ appointments. 

However, self-reflection can also offer us a spiritual cleanse from any negativity. To better ourselves as humans so whenever we do find ourselves in a rut, we can contemplate asking ourselves significant questions such as: what have I achieved through this experience? What am I the most proud of? Simultaneously, don’t be so hard on yourself – simply getting through a difficult time is enough to be considered an achievement, or what could I have done better? It can be a struggle to see personal flaws from your own perspective, so don’t be afraid to ask others for their opinions. Not only can we build our self-awareness, but we enable ourselves to mature into our best possible version, one the Almighty will be pleased with. 

The next time you start afresh in whatever it is that you embark on, clear your mind, have faith in the Almighty about how everything which may happen will be according to His will, and reflect; reflect over your actions and sayings. It could be a simple thought at the end of the day before going to sleep, a sentence written in a journal every day, or reciting dhikr – remember it’s all in the little things.